Uncontrollable anger can impact on your daily life and relationships.
You have probably heard the term ‘anger management’. What does this imply? That there is no valid reason for your anger? Does it mean anger is not a ‘good’ emotion, or that we should not feel anger?
It is not helpful to categorise feelings into ‘good’ or ‘bad’ boxes. Your feelings are valid and arise as a means to observe important internal processes. This includes anger. Whilst it may be undesirable or uncomfortable, anger can be used to help motivate us and direct our energies towards constructive purposes: anger is a normal, healthy response to a threat.
Anger can be viewed in terms of a continuum that can range from mild annoyance to intense rage. It triggers part of the fight, flight, or freeze response and activates a number of physical conditions such as increased heart rate and blood pressure, and increased adrenaline and noradrenaline in the body.
When Anger Becomes a Problem
There is nothing wrong with feeling angry. However, if it becomes uncontrollable or is left unexpressed, anger can lead to destructive thoughts or actions and can impact on your daily life and relationships.
Obviously if we perceive threat where there is no threat, or we activate our fight, flight or freeze response for extended periods of time we need to understand what causes this, and how to cope and express ourselves differently.
Anger can be a response to distress; trauma, unexpressed feelings, being overwhelmed, stress, or grief, and can leave you feeling out of control.
Therapy can help us to understand the cause, and process situations and events in our lives in a way that gives us better coping mechanisms and insight into why we react the way we do. This work will empower you to make positive changes, creating internal stability, greater capacity for harmonious relationships, and will improve the overall quality of your life.
To set the stage we spent our three day yearly retreat together in sharing, reflection and appreciation. At each of our retreats we start with reflection on our values- are they still relevant, are they a part of our clients journey and do we refer to them enough? Are there values we need to spend more time bringing into the company?
I spend much of my time at work speaking with clients about their experiences of trauma. These are often deeply personal conversations which involve vulnerability and working through what can be confronting core beliefs and experiences.
Often as a therapist, your work life and personal life collide with similar themes. For me, the spotlight recently shone on all things parenting and baby related.