The makings of a positive friendship

 BLOG | 16 OCT 2021

 

From little things big things grow 

 

 There are times when I say to a client “…look how far you’ve come. Remember when we first met…?” Just this sentence can be a topic of discussion. It is such a privilege seeing a person (or a couple) reflect on their own growth – even if it is not obvious to them. Especially if it is not obvious to them. I’m not sure we reflect on our growth as often as we should. Usually, we focus on the next big thing, or what’s not going so well in our lives; rather than pausing and celebrating the progress.

 Whether by accident, through struggles and resilience, or from purpose, determination and courage; growth occurs out of change. Big life events, milestones, relationship break downs or break throughs, spirituality and new learnings all contribute to our growth.

 In times where we feel stuck and frustrated; this is often because something is blocking growth from occurring. And hasn’t COVID (and the lockdowns that came with it) been a perfect example of the impact this can have on our growth?

 But it’s important to remember that growth is non-linear; that is; it’s not just forward and up (or backward and down). We can seem like we’re going around in circles but don’t let that feeling convince you – we are always learning and growing even when we don’t think about it. Small seeds of inspiration can be found in our everyday lives. It may seem like you haven’t been able to accomplish one goal; but in the meantime, you may have adapted your mindset, acknowledged and learnt from mistakes, and grown in other ways.

 Growth can be tangible and measurable; like saving money, buying a house, having a child, getting a promotion or learning a new skill. Or not – it can be a new idea, a conversation with a friend, a shift in confidence, a shift in how we view ourselves, an acceptance of what was and moving forward. Growth can be found anywhere and everywhere; and sometimes it’s the small things that continually add up to create a transformation.

 If you’re feeling a bit stuck or life has thrown you some curve balls, a focus on growth can be helpful. Sometimes just by making some small changes can create a path of big change. Such as

 

  •         learning a new skill/hobby/interest/study/career which opens doors for meeting new people, learning from others
  •         questioning habits that may not always be the most positive or healthy
  •         finding inspiration from different sources, such as nature, animals, different cultures, food, music, spirituality
  •         keeping a thought/mood journal or gratitude to look at your world through a different lens

 Although it’s a bit of a buzz word these days; personal growth is not to be underestimated or undervalued. Because essentially isn’t that what we all strive for in our own unique way? Sometimes, it will take someone else to hold up a mirror and show you your transformation; it just takes courage to look.

 By marnie mearns 

 Psychologist

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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